Random thoughts

I'm sitting here blogging while waiting for my father's cake to finish baking. We are having dinner and a cake for dad today. His birthday was Thursday and he's 53 years young.

I started to get M dressed today and the outfit I pulled out is too small. He's is getting so big. We are now basically shopping for my 3.5 yo in the boy's section. He's too big for the toddler's clothing for the most part. He's wearing size 4 and 5.

So I had B bring in the box we got with our layaway yesterday that had M's Yoda in it and I folded it and put in the box.

ET...I never really watched this movie when I was a kid. That's almost un-American isn't it. Well it's on the Sci-Fi channel now, and M is watching it. I know B was excited because it's one of his favorite movies from his childhood. M is lying in the floor with his pillow and his play rifle just watching the show. It'as so cute.

Well the timer is beeping; it's time to get dad's cake out and start getting around to go to Tulsa.

For those in the path of Dennis the Menance, God Bless and you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Momma ain't happy

I'm using the computer as time to calm down before I head to bed.

It started when we got back home from Lowe's. There was a lot to get done before bedtime tonight. B has to travel to OKC on Monday and Tuesday for training, (and of course laundry was backed up) so I was making sure all the laundry except the towels was done today. While we were there, we picked up trim for the wall above the cabinets and an end piece to try and see if it fit. B looked at that while I emptied the dryer. M was trying to help me which I allowed him to do until he couldn't really help anymore. M went into the kitchen and was in B's way so he got upset with B.

B was sawing an end piece for the cabinets (we've been lying a tile cabinet top). B sent M out of the kitchen because he was in the way. Well, M got upset at B and said a bad word. I made him sit in time out. Then B called me in there to help and of course he was sawing on the cabinet area that had already been tiled and he got the tile too, so we are going to have to fix that. Luckily that's not expensive, but still....

When we got done with that, I drew a bath for M. Well, there is a step stool in the bathroom for M to reach the vanity better (it came with the convertible potty training chair), and M decided he needed to get that into the tub, so when I walked back in there (I just finished loading the washing machine and started it), there was water all over the floor. Now mind you, this is already after I caught him trying it once and told him no. At least it wasn't as bad as the Captain Jack episode, but still....

So, now B and M are in the bedroom watching TV, and I'm trying to calm down before I head back there. I'm also kind of waiting for the washing machine to finish so I can move the dark colored clothes over and start the towels which is all I have left to do.

In short, I'm tired (I only got a thirty minute nap today and I haven't really slept well all week), I'm cranky, and I'm not happy. Beware world!

Kids say the darndest things

M's intellect never ceases to amaze me. Often it seems like I'm not talking to a 3.5 year old at all.

Last night, M was needing attention, so he crawled into bed with B & I and watched TV with us until he fell asleep. We were talking about the baby kicking and being in my belly and I mentioned that he was going to have to learn how to share me soon. B replied that M was going to be a big brother very soon.

M replied, "I can't be a big brother. I'm just a little kid. I don't know how to be a big brother."

My heart broke and melted simultaneously and I hugged him close. He'll do just fine.

"Personal" conversations

I miss my office (but not the work). I am back to prairie dogging, aka cube you know what. As such, any personal conversations can be heard by all your co-workers. Luckily, they do have a small conference room for you to use to make those phone calls you really don't want to hear, eg the call to your gynecologist to schedule your yearly lube and boob aka pap smear or whatever it is you guys have done.

Unfortunately, not all phone calls can be taken in the conference room. This included a phone call from B.

5 PM: Cell phone vibrates

B: What time are you heading out?
Me: I'm actually shutting down right now.
Conversation ensues while I am cleaning my desk and walking to the kitchen to clean my coffee cup out. He mentions that he has steaks thawing for dinner, is on his way to play raquetball, and would I start the baked potatoes when I get home.

No problem. I also tell him Sunday's plans are canceled and basically tell him I'll talk to him when I get home. The conversation lingers. I'm back to my cube and I can't take it anymore.

I blurt out, "Baby, I'm going to have to let you go because I really have to go to the bathroom and I don't want to take you in there with me."

The two co-workers that were left sitting around me for the day busted out laughing at my expense. Sorry you had to hear that guys, but hey, when ya gotta go, you gotta go--especially when you are pregnant.

Loving two

This was posted on a message board that I frequent, and I couldn't read it all the way through without getting misty-eyed. The only change has been to change the 2 year old to 3 year old, which is my & M's case.

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 3-year-old hand,
basking in the glow of our magical relationship.
Suddenly I feel a kick from within,
as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you.

I watch the pain you feel at having to share me
as you've never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way,
"Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine,
"I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.

I almost see our new baby as an intruder
on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing,
I find myself attached to that new being,
and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change,
first to curiosity,
then to protectiveness,
finally to genuine affection.
More days pass,
and we are settling into a new routine.

The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.
But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow,
the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you,
I've given something to you.

I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement.
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you -- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time,
I now know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply.
I love you -- both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.


Author Unknown