Victory dance

Sometimes as a parent, you have to celebrate the small victories...and often, you have to fight hard for those victories.

The scenario: Yesterday evening, we had our nephews Chase & Jarren for the evening because their mom, Angela, had to work at her 2nd job. Jarren & M both were congested and not really feeling well. Jarren laid down on M's bed to watch TV; however, M was having none of that. (Remember Chase & Jarren were there.) He and Chase and Jarren (well until Jarren laid down) played light sabers until around 8:45. The kids had pulled out the trundle and M was jumping off his bed onto the trundle. Well, being told to stop and being given several chances, M was disciplined and all the kids had to lie down. M & Chase were on the trundle, and Jarren was in M’s bed.

The background: We have been a co-sleeping family. We didn’t start out that way; it just kind of happened. Marshal never took to the bassinet; he slept in his crib from day 2 of being home until he came down with pneumonia just before his first birthday. We brought him into bed with us because we were (well, I will admit I was) initially afraid he would stop breathing. We would both sleep with our hand on his chest to make sure he was breathing. Well, then Basil moved to midnights and it was just easier to take M to bed with me, so we ended up being a co-sleeping family.

Fast-forward another year or so, and co-sleeping isn’t a good idea. Marshal was 39 inches tall the last time we had to visit Dr. Mac. 39 inches worth of sideways sleeping toddler between two adults isn’t a good thing (even if you do have a king-size bed). One of us will sleep with Marshal’s feet in his or her back (usually that was me), and the other will have his head in his or her shoulder blade area (usually Basil). So, when we moved into our new home, B & I came up with an idea. We would transition M to his bed via the futon (which M calls “the crouton”). We set the futon up in our room, and our journey began.

The transition started out with my lying down with M on the futon (I almost typed crouton there) until he fell asleep. I would then move to my bed (usually when I woke up around 12-2 in the morning). We’ve been doing this for a while. Sometimes M would sleep through the night on the futon; others, he would crawl into bed with us during the night.

Well, one of my co-workers and a few Internet chat buddies mentioned a Nanny episode on getting your toddler to sleep in their own bed. (I think it was Super Nanny?) So, last week, I stopped lying down with M on a nightly basis. I would tuck him in after reading a story and then go to our bed. M could stay up and watch TV with us if he wanted, but he had to stay on the futon and lie down while doing so. I would tell B to peek and make sure he was doing what he was told but not to make eye contact. Occasionally would have to reprimand him. By the end of the week, he was rolling over toward the wall and going to sleep on his own if he was tired.

The end of the story: M wanted to sleep in his own bed last night (well, on the trundle). Basil wanted him to come sleep on the futon. Our house has terrible windows (we are hoping to replace those with our tax money), so B was worried it would be too cold. I shot down the idea. The vent in that room is right above the place where M was going to sleep. I told B that if he woke up in the middle of the night, he could come in our bedroom. We just made sure M had enough blankets to keep him warm. When B awakened me at 4 something AM to go to work (I could have sworn I set my alarm), M was still in his bed. I went in and check on him, righted his position in his bed, and tucked him in again. I went in and told B that I would let him stay there despite B’s mentioning bringing him into our bedroom. I went to start to get dressed and I wanted to sing, “O Happy Day” so badly, but I didn’t think singing at 4 am would be looked upon favorably by my family (even if I do have a good voice).

So here I am, shouting from the rooftops inside, over a small victory. I’m not naïve enough to think this will be an every night thing, but it is a start, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

Oh happy day; oh happy day.
Oh happy day; oh happy day.
The night my kid…
The night my kid…
Slept in his own bed! ALL NIGHT!